Gifting is one of my primary (giving) love languages. It always has been. At birthdays and holidays, I relish thinking of gifts for the people I love that will make them feel known, seen, understood.
And apart from yearly holidays, I also love gifting after I feel a great service has been done. I often use gifting as a way to say: “Thank you, I appreciate you BIG time!”
This was the case recently (I’m omitting names and details to protect everyone’s privacy) with someone I know. I wanted to say “thank you” in a meaningful way. So, as I often do, I wrote to them to ask for their mailing address in order to send a small token of my appreciation.
However, for the first time that I can recall, they said “No.”
In short, they said they didn’t think it was necessary and preferred I didn’t. They did not give me their mailing address.
How do you think this made me feel as the want-to-be gifter? I’ll tell you: Rejected. Hurt. Declined.
This experience inspired today’s blog post in which I want to ask you an important question: Do you know how to receive a gift when it comes?
This is, as I see it, an important life skill. When we learn how to receive graciously, we can give our gifters a gift in return: we can allow them to feel the joy of the expression they want to make.
This is a lesson I recall learning at a young age as a performing musician. Quite often, after performances, people in the audience would want to express their heartfelt thanks for my performance and tell me how wonderfully I played. As a young, developing player, I would often be caught up in the few mistakes I made during the show. I quickly figured out that responding to their “gift” of kind words by telling them I disagreed with them – this did not work well at all. I could see it actually hurt them. I learned that simply saying “thank you” and receiving their words was the kindest thing I could do (for them, and for myself).
So, a quick lesson in receiving. If someone in your life a) says something kind to you, b) gives you praise, c) wants to mail you a gift, or d) tries to give to you in any other way, here’s what you do:
Step 1: Say “thank you.”
Step 2: Open yourself up, and receive!
It really is that easy. And it gets easier the more you do it 😉
