It’s the worst, isn’t it? When you’re faced with whether or not to do something, and try as you might you just can’t decide? Often we feel torn between our logical and emotional sides, trying to decide whether we should do what seems most logical or what just feels right.
The next time this happens to you, start with the five simple questions below. Your answers will illuminate the best choice for you.
1) What is ultimately most important to me?
For just a moment, put any and all factors aside except for what matters to YOU most. Depending on the choice you’re facing, it might be advancing in your career, or time with your family, or not missing out on opportunities, or just taking care of yourself. If you can get crystal clear on what your top priorities are, it can greatly simplify the decision that lays bbefore you.
2) What will I be sacrificing in either direction?
It’s sometimes easy to see what we’ll be sacrificing if we say no because undoubtedly it means we’ll be missing out on something or another. But all too often we can lose sight of what we’ll be sacrificing if we say yes. Despite what we want to believe, our time and energy are finite things. Ask yourself: if I say yes to this, what else am I saying no to as a result?
3) Am I trying to please anyone besides myself?
If you’re a people pleaser (like I am), you’ll definitely want to consider whether or not you’re trying to make other people happy. The second you get mixed up with pleasing others, you’ve lost all sight of what’s best for you. For more on this, check out my post The People Pleaser’s Cure: Why It’s OK Not to Be Liked.
4) Will I be plagued with the “What if”?
Ah, the dreaded “what if”! We want to avoid regret at all costs, so if you realize deep down that you’ll always always wonder what would have happened if you’d say yes (or no), that’s worth considering.
5) How would it FEEL to say yes or no?
When I am faced with a difficult decision, this simple exercise never fails me: close your eyes and focus all your attention on visualizing what it would look and feel like to have said yes or no. How do you feel in your body? Are you tense and tight, or calm and relaxed? Often, imagining this future reality can be quite illuminating in helping us to make decisions.
Looking for more?
If you enjoyed this blog from Janelle (hey that’s me!) at Ellanyze, the next time you’re faced with that question “Should I do it? Yes or no?” you might also check out “Am I Making the Right Decision?” – Avoid Regret Once and For All.
