What are you growing in this world?
While trying to pick out a featured image for this blog post, I chose one of a person planting a seedling in the soil because the way I see it, our core values are what we want to grow more of in this world.
Respect. Friendships. Community. Authenticity. Creativity. Nature. Fun.
These are all examples of core values that I hold (you might hold some of them as well!).
Core values & relationships
One aspect of this that has come to mind for me lately is how our core values play into our relationships. More often than not, we’ll share core values with the people we value spending time with. And, as you can imagine, we probably won’t share many core values with the people we’d just as well do without.
For example, two people who both value the outdoors, supporting local businesses, and the arts? They’ll most likely get along quite well.
But one person who greatly values being able to afford expensive items and experiences alongside another who doesn’t value money much at all? They are probably going to be pretty different people – in fact, they might not even like each other!
Putting it into action
So how can we put this idea into practice in our relationships?
I’ve found it enormously helpful to do two things:
First, I try to recognize and identify when I share a core value with a person I know or meet. Whether it’s making time for play in life, talking about our love for our pets, or spending time outdoors, it feels good to identify these shared values.
Second, when I encounter someone who gives me that “ugh” feeling or I find myself wanting to exit a conversation quickly, I try to get curious and think about whether we may be having a clash in core values. More often than not, we are indeed!
It certainly puts a different spin on “not liking someone” doesn’t it? 😉
So try this:
Think of someone in your life who you get along smashingly with. What values do the two of you share?
Conversely, think of someone you’re not crazy about in your life. What opposing values might be causing the friction you’re experiencing?
The most beautiful part
And here’s the beautiful thing: Having opposing core values doesn’t have to mean that either person is wrong or inherently bad. As opposed to resorting to blame, identifying a sheer difference in core values can be a much more kind, loving way of explaining why two people are not a good fit to date one another, work together, or even spend time together at all.
Doesn’t that feel much better?
