Most of us have at one point heard of this concept that each of us “creates our reality.” But what does that mean? This was perfectly illustrated to me this past week while I was on vacation with my dog Hudson. I booked a place for us with a big fenced-in yard, which allows Hudson to run around freely (something he can’t do back at home in our condo) and allows me to relax in an Adirondack chair with a book in the late afternoons.
It’s heaven for both of us.
During our trip, we did everything together. We went for walks in the neighborhood, on bike rides (Hudson rides in a basket attached to the front of my bike), and of course, to the beach! I swam, Hudson waded (a little), and we both enjoyed watching all the other people and dogs on the beach all day long.
At some point during the week, a memory suddenly popped into my mind. It was the summer of 2020, the summer I’d decided to take my first vacation by myself. (Why had it never occurred to me before? I guess I thought vacations were something you took when you had someone, i.e. a partner, to take them with. Talk about hogwash!)
But that summer I’d decided now was the time, so I booked a place in South Haven, an adorable lakeside town on Lake Michigan. What I was remembering, however, wasn’t the beauty of the lake or the adorableness of the town. It was how incredibly self-conscious I felt about being there by myself. Bringing my things in from the car I was constantly looking around to see if anyone was watching me. Browsing in shops I couldn’t help but feel a little judged every time I walked by a family or a couple. Even though I still enjoyed the trip immensely, these feelings and beliefs put a cloud over the entire experience.
As this experience flooded my memory, what struck me most of all was how vastly different that experience was than the one I was having now. Vacationing alone (or with your dog) is the best! There’s no one to consult with on what to do, where to be, what to eat, or anything else. You just get to do YOU. Recalling my trip to South Haven and passing those families and couples, it occurs to me now that probably some of them wished they were on a vacation in solitude too. Ha.
So what changed? Did the world around me transform from one where everyone was silently judging me to one where everyone was happy for me (or simply didn’t give a damn)? Absolutely not.
I had changed, and so my reality had changed as well.
To me, this is the magic of creating one’s reality. Once we can identify that how we feel about the world around us (i.e. everyone is out to get us, no one likes us, or whatever it may be) is not the truth but simply a strongly held belief, we can begin to change our beliefs, change our minds, and subsequently change our reality.
And boy oh boy does it feel awesome.
